An Exerpt from My Story of [un]Employment: Swag

"Hop up out the bed

Turn my swag---"

{click...click............ click..}

Aw, man..

  I see swag as either one of two things: 1) A type of arrogance people project as a means to attract other people [usually the opposite sex] or 2) very big confidence with a side of strut, borderline to arrogance but not quite there-- more so in the sense of being ready to take each day by the horns and say "THBBBBBBBBB!!!" in its face while spraying spittle in its eye.

When I hop up out the bed every morning I say a prayer, make my husbands lunch, then go to the couch after he leaves for work and check Facebook for a few minutes and then job search for a couple hrs to find that no one really wants to hire entry level college graduates around here.  If someone would direct me as to where the bottom of the career ladder is I would be glad to start there; it appears that even the bottom now requires a master's degree and two years of experience.  Everyone else is clinging to the retail  and clerical jobs leaving few openings, and if you haven't spent  part of your undergraduate years establishing sales and administrative experience then you're most likely out of luck there too.  I'm sorry, excuse my rant... continuing with my day... I get up and clean and straighten some things... fold clothes if I've previously washed any.  I talk to the Lord.  I watch some TV, or I don't.  I browse the internet.  Then later when the time nears my husband's arrival back home from work I cook dinner.  And then we watch Two And A Half Men on the FX channel and spend quality time.  Some days I might pop in an exercise DVD or play Micheal Jackson the Experience to get a work out in.

My day typically does not require me to turn my swag much of anywhere; the only time lately I really turned my swag on was to rebuke Satan.

I would love to be able to get up for work, grab the day by the horns and spray confident swag spittle in its eye... but I don't know exactly when that day is going to come.  I definitely don't want to overlook or take for granted my situation that God has placed me in.  My husband has a good job, he's a great provider, we lack nothing as far as our needs, and we have the means to still get some things we want.  I'm happy being a diligent wife to a deserving husband.  Many people don't have what I have and I am truly grateful for where I am. God has blessed us abundantly already.  I don't want to discredit His work.  I'm just getting antsy being at home most of the time, and I want to contribute financially to the household as well.  I know God has something for me; one opportunity that I that I was sure I would have landed by now has only been placed on hold and is still very much available to me in a few more weeks-- I believe the position is already mine no matter who else applied for it.  I know there are people in much worse situations where it is absolutely imperative that they find a job by Friday or else their family's livelihood is at stake [I pray God works in their situation], and I am thankful that is not my situation.  I sure am ready for my first day of work though, whenever that time may come.  Until then I might just do some swag exercises-- maybe turn my swag on while I'm cooking or dusting something.